Why, you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder!

Who's scruffy-lookin'?

I am REALLY enjoying life right now.

One of the benefits of The Shellies and Brother being gone is that I become the sole recipient of Alpha and The Mommy's attention. I never realized just how much talking Alpha was capable of until the house was quiet. So I sit quietly listening to him talk about "pulled pork",  how I am "protecting the house and The Grandma", how I'm a "good puppy" and a "handsome puppy", and about how I get to go to the beach soon! The beach!!! WOOF! I love the beach; I can't wait!

I've found that it's really easy to get Alpha's attention. All I need to do is drop my Tug rope in his lap and presto! I've got a playmate. But Alpha likes to just sit and scratch my head and chest. It's not very exciting, but it satisfies a different part of me than the "play" side - it's what I call my "belonging" part. You see, I want so much just to be a part of my family. I'm a very social puppy . . .

Last weekend The Mommy was feeling happy and fun. She said something, I can't remember what, but whatever it was gave me a case of The Tucks. And I had it real bad. I was running so fast my eyes were watering. And I couldn't stop even if I wanted to. At one point it felt like my butt was actually running ahead of my front! Oh it felt so good to cut loose like that! And that's when she did it. That's when The Mommy broke into The Scruffy Puppy Song.

If you've never heard The Mommy sing The Scruffy Puppy Song, or any song for that matter, you're really missing a treat. But TSPS is special cuz she wrote it for and about me! It goes like this:

Who's the Scruffy Puppy?

He's the Scruffy Puppy

He's the Scruffy Puppy yuppy you!

Who's the Scruffy Puppy?

He's the Scruffy Puppy

He's the Scruffy Puppy yuppy you!

And the second part goes like this:

Who's the Scruffy Puppy?

He's the Scruffy Puppy

He's the Scruffy Puppy yuppy you!

Bum ba dum bum bum bum

Who's the Scruffy Puppy?

He's the Scruffy Puppy

He's the Scruffy Puppy yuppy you!   

Isn't that cool? Alpha says it's sung to the tune of Never Covet, Be a Bucket. So the next time you see The Mommy I'm sure she'd sing TSPS for you if you ask her. The Mommy is the best!

Bonding with The Mommy

 

When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek

Heaven! I'm in heaven!

So many kids coming to the door tonight! It was awesome! I was beside myself with puppy happiness and hyperness. Alpha and I answered the door together most of the time and I got to greet EVERY one of the kids! I even got to say hi to Biscuit . . . what a great night!

I just had to relay that before I burst. And now, without further delay . . .

What is the Silent Puppy thinking?

One of my favorite "dives"

I am __________, Destroyer of Worlds!

OK, just so you all know, I am so over that kat picture. No really, I am. Life is too short to spend it worrying about things you can't control.

I had a great day today: The Mommy took me for a long walk! We went all over the place. At the end I even got to sit with her as she sat on a bench next to the pond. If you don't know already, the pond is a wonderful place full of interesting smells and creatures.

I think I saw a kat on the other side of the pond in the tall grass while we were sitting there . . .

There are frogs, snakes, bugs, and most of all goose poop. Lots of goose poop. Everywhere. Can't miss it. Poop on poop. Take one step and "Oh look, there's more goose poop" kind of everywhere. And the birds don't seem to care where they poop at all. It's like they just fly around and poop is landing all around you. Maybe that's a teensy bit exaggerated, but that's the feline feeling you get when you see it all.

Did I tell you that The Kitty has been spending lots of time on my porch for the past few weeks?

The Mommy said that a hawk was cawing at us while we were by the pond, but I don't think that hawks caw. Alpha said it was crying but it didn't look distraught or in emotional turmoil at all. I'm a little bit confused at just what hawks do, but whatever it is it's all right with me just so long as they aren't flying around and pooping everywhere.

Good thing kats don't fly . . . I'm sure it would be just like them to poop all around you on purpose!

OK, so I think you can guess that I'm still having a hard time with that kat picture. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't gone and looked at it more closely. It just confirmed everything I knew to be true. If I show you what I found then I'm sure I'll be able to finally get past it and prove to you that I'm not the paranoid puppy that you may believe me to be.

Here is the original picture:

Looks so innocent . . .

And now here's a closer look:

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Now do you believe me?

Like a Silent Puppy scorned

I'm devastated.

It's times like this that I wish I could communicate better. I'm just lousy talking about my puppy emotions so that others can understand. I'll try using photos to illustrate the emotional turmoil going on inside this little puppy brain.

Before I saw the picture

After I saw the picture

 No, that doesn't quite show the level of turmoil I'm feeling.

 That's better but still not tumultuous enough.

Before I was blindsided by the picture

After I was blindsided by the picture

There you go. Are you starting to get a feeling for what I'm experiencing? Hmmm . . . maybe something on a grander scale:

My puppy-steem before I saw the picture

My puppy-steem after I saw the picture

Grander, yet. More grand!

Before I was emotionally devastated

After I was emotionally devastated

Wow, it's going to take a long time for these puppy emotions to heal.

NANI!?!

Is it a wildkitten?

What is this!?! What. Is. This!?! That can't be! Alpha can't be . . . I mean, it's impossible! What is that thing doing on his lap?!?

A puppy by any other name . . .

Sometimes I just don't understand why my family does the things they do.

For instance, this past weekend was a great weekend. My previous post will attest to that. But that was Sunday; Saturday was another matter. I mean, I did have fun and all: it was a beautiful day and I had a great time napping keeping watch in the sunshine on the entryway carpet. I had plenty of food and water. My toys were all close by. The Mommy had gone to pick up some things for her walk on Sunday and Alpha was outside working in the yard. All was well. Then Alpha came in the house.

He was all dirty and he smelled great! But then he did the funny thing: he took me upstairs, removed my collar, and invited me into The Little Room in the bathroom. Of course I went - why wouldn't I? I thought he wanted to play a game or something. He then closed the door and proceeded to GET ME ALL WET! There was no place to go, the water was inescapable, it was all warm, and frankly I did not like it one bit. Was this some kind of sick game?!? Why was he doing this? I could see no point in it at all.

Next came the smelly stuff. He smeared it all over me and rubbed it into my fur. It got kinda sudsy and it had a very unpleasant scent; kind of a sweet smell but not a good sweet, you know? He continued to get water all over me and even put my face right into where the water was coming from. I had to summon every last ounce of strength to "stay" like a good puppy - I really wanted to bolt out of there but where was I to go? When was the game going to start?!?

I gave up hope that there was ever going to be another day where I would be happy and dry, laying in the sun dreaming of bunnies and bouncing balls. I resigned myself to it and sat like a good puppy, silent and dejected, as Alpha moved me around, rinsing off the foul-smelling goo with the stream of warm water that seemed to have no end. For Tin Tin's sake, all I wanted to do was to play a game. How could things have turned out so poorly?

Then, just like that, the water quit.

"Stay." I tensed. Something was happening.

"Stay." Alpha opened the small door and got out.

"Stay." Gosh, did he really have to say it so many time? (yeah, I was poised to run!)

"Come!" Then the most wonderful thing happened: the game began! It was the Chase Me game!

Finally caught in a mess of towels!

I got to run all over the bathroom while Alpha chased me with a big towel - several towels in fact. He finally caught me but not before I was able to have so much fun running and shaking and shaking and shaking! He would rub me down with towels and then I would wiggle away and the game would begin again. What fun! The Mommy came home while we were playing and told me I was a good puppy. I found out later that she was the one that put Alpha up to it - go figure!

So now The Mommy and Alpha say I'm all cuddly, soft, and sweet-smelling. And I'm beginning to wonder: the whole time The Mommy was telling me, "You stink!". . . that wasn't a good thing?

The Silent Naked Puppy

And we're walking, we're walking, we're walking

I see The Mommy!

Well, she did it. The Mommy went and did it! She went on this REALLY long walk with a friend in The Big City and left me at home. But I understand - it was my job to take her for her walks to help her prepare; it would have been cheating if I were to walk with her and help her. Sometimes The Mommy just has to do things on her own or she would never get stronger. I'm so proud of her, and of course Alpha is, too.

After she got home I showed my happiness for her by wagging my tail tons (of course) and giving her a rose.

I think I'm happiest for her cuz she did something that was really hard and she succeeded in reaching her goal. It wasn't always fun, but it helped that she had a friend to walk with since I couldn't help her. Hmmmmm . . . goals . . . reached with effort . . . support from others . . . I think there's something profound in there but I can't put my paw on it.

Look how proud I am!